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Althea Ramsay Carrigan from Burle Business Park was kind enough to answer my call for funny Realtor stories. ENJOY!

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As a relatively new agent, I was showing one of my first listings, an operating hair salon business with an apartment upstairs, to a local developer and his broker. We looked at the upstairs apartment first and when checking out the bathroom we discovered, in all its glory, that someone had left a giant ‘deposit’ in the toilet. It was literally the largest example of a specimen that any of us had ever seen which thankfully only caused much laughter and lighthearted amusement. However, when we went downstairs to tour the salon portion of the building, a large cockroach was spotted on the ceiling. Almost as soon as we spotted it, the cockroach managed to drop down from the ceiling and it went straight down into the neck opening of the developer’s shirt! This caused him to freak out, run outside the building and frantically rip off his shirt . . . much to the delight of the ladies who were having their hair done. Even though they gave him a round of applause, he did NOT buy the building.

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An older gentleman investor wanted to see a vacant industrial building that had been on the market for quite some time. I unlocked the door, opened it for us and he proceeded to enter into the center of the cavernous building. I went to the electrical panel to get the lights on. As I flipped the breakers on and activated the lights, the birds that had been nesting in the ceiling trusses flew down and dive bombed his head. He ran screaming from the building . . . with me right behind him . . . and that was the end of that showing. He did NOT buy the building.

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In my capacity as a commercial/industrial property manager, my tenants often call me to report the sighting of ‘wildlife’ that has come into the buildings by one way or another. Here are some anecdotes of dealing with these special types of issues . . .

A gentleman working in executive management called to tell me that “something has been nibbling at his treats”. I asked if he suspected that the nibbler was human or some other type of creature. He said “something with a very small mouth”. I asked what kind of treats he was specifically concerned with and asked where these were located. He said they were candy bars that he kept in the treat drawer of his desk because he needs them when he feels stressed. I asked if there were any visible signs of mice such as droppings since mice virtually ALWAYS defecate when eating. Then I had to explain what I meant by all that. He then replied that of course there were no signs of that. As in all cases where odd habits and behavior are suspected, I sent out trusted senior maintenance and janitorial supervisor to be eyes and ears for issues surrounding the problem area and to also advise and treat the space as necessary. The supervisor reported back to me that there were in fact many “droppings” but the gentleman had mistaken them for pieces of his favorite chocolate. The executive then received remedial education and training on proper treat containment and rodent behavior . . . and was never heard from again.

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A tenant with office space on the warehouse floor called to tell me that a “giant” cockroach had been found in their space. Like always I asked if it had been collected so that I might come and get it . . . this helps me identify and determine the species, origin and nature of the bug and then to enlist proper treatment. When I arrived to collect the sample, which is typically smashed in a paper towel or in pieces, I was directed to a shallow computer paper box with an 8.5 x 11 sheet of white paper on the top. At first I thought how nice that they put it in the box that I could carry back to my office. However, when I removed the paper, there was a very active and alive three-inch southern palmetto bug that had most likely hitched a ride up from the southern states. He was trying to take flight and not at all happy to be in a box. Now I always verify FIRST that the specimen is in fact DEAD before I go to collect.

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A lady kept calling and complaining about having ants. Even after the exterminator visited and our maintenance people had been there so all manner of treatments were done, the ants kept coming back. I visited myself to ask her about her life and practices, all the while being alert for the standard things like house plants harboring nests, messy/dirty snack habits, candy dishes, open or spilled sweet beverages, and the possibility that she was transporting them from home, etc. After finding nothing out of order or at all untidy about the area or her personage, I checked her office trash can and I found four banana peels, 4 apples cores and a few decaying pears. Turns out she was an organic compost gardener and was “saving them up” a week’s worth at a time to take home on Fridays. She was very unhappy that we asked her to remove the note taped to her trash can instructing the cleaning crew to NOT empty her trashcan nightly.

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Thanks, Althea! Let’s keep the laughs coming! Email your funniest Realtor stories to Gwenae at gwachter@LCARonline.com. The Communications Committee will read each and every one and will decide which ones are the funniest, and this may just need to be an ongoing series! Who knows . . .the best ones might win a place in the Annals of LCAR History!

Nancy Sarley, Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices HomeSale Realty

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Lancaster County Association of Realtors®

Lancaster County Association of Realtors®